Bring You Back
by TCGA
Summary: It has always been like this, like they had a huge gap between them. A gap that grew thicker every time they were about to act on their obvious chemistry, indecision always taking over. Like he has done many times before, Barry starts evaluating whether to take the leap or not. What will it take to make up his mind? [One-shot].


**A little thing I came up while running and listening to "Bring You Back" by Gold Brother & Liiv. Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Barry walked down the dark hallway, waving his hands in front of him. He knew there weren't any obstacles he could bump into there, but it seemed like forever since he had stepped out of the elevator, and not finding the cortex door was making him a little anxious.

Finally, when he was about to turn back and look for the fuse box, a dim light revealed the entrance, just a meter away from his location.

Swallowing, he slowly headed that way.

For a minute, he had expected to be walking into a trap, orchestrated by one of his most hated enemies, so it surprised him to find Caitlin instead. She was in her usual seat, with her arms crossed and her back facing the door. The light surrounding her came from the computer monitors and the screens on the wall, all showing the same pattern of static.

"Hey," he said carefully, in case she hadn't heard him walk in. "What happened here?"

"Oh, hi!" she said back, turning her head to him. "We seem to have lost connection."

"You mean 'power'?" He looked around. "How are the screens working, though?"

"Somehow."

Barry raised his eyebrows as he approached the chair next to her, a little confused by her answer. Caitlin shrugged, like there was nothing to add. She was wearing her lab coat and her hands were now resting on her thighs, like she was trying to recover from a hard day of work. It was obvious that the semi-black out had interrupted whatever she was doing, but he decided to ask her about it anyway.

"What are you doing here in the dark?"

"Actually, I was hoping you'd show up," she said, with a sheepish smile. "I thought you were leaving without saying goodbye."

"Actually, I was hoping to find you here," he admitted, in an unintended flirty tone. "It's a long trip… I'd never leave without saying goodbye to you. You'd never forgive me if I didn't let you give me a proper diet and those vitamins you cook for me."

Caitlin laughed.

"I wasn't prepared for this one, so no vitamins. As much as I hate it, you're on your own this time," she sighed, giving him a pouty face. "You'll have to get by. Without me."

"What?" Barry let out, putting a hand to his chest, offended. "That's not fair. What I am supposed to smile about if I can't read you rambling on about my health for thirteen pages?"

"I have never written you thirteen pages…"

"You've given me more than ten, I'm sure…"

"It wasn't all text. I used some pages to draw sketches of the pills, with their properties…"

Barry snorted, remembering her drawings. Although he would never admit it in front of Caitlin, her detailed instructions were useful on paper. Not because he didn't listen to her in person, but because it was hard to keep up with her science talk sometimes, even for him.

"This is what you focus on?" he noticed, leaning back in amusement. "I'm telling you it makes me smile and this is what you focus on?

"Because it's not true…" Caitlin insisted, completely oblivious to his now obvious attempt of flirting.

"Fine. Seven pages. And your handwriting is microscopic. Why don't you use the computer?"

Caitlin turned her chair to him.

"Because it feels more personal," she replied, tapping his knee with her palm fondly. "It shows that I take the time, that I care."

Barry's mouth opened and closed in surprise when she delivered that reasoning. He sighed, unable to prevent nostalgia from invading the air.

"What?" Caitlin asked, noticing that he had spaced out.

"Nothing," he quickly replied, not wanting to make that brief moment with her about himself.

"Tell me."

"It's just… my mom used to say something like that." He made sure to smile once he finished the sentence, to imply that it was a happy memory. "She had a few pen pals in London. Never got to meet them, though." He could almost see Nora Allen sitting in one of the free desks of the cortex, with her reading glasses on. "My dad and I made fun of her, I even created a hotmail account for her. She never used it…" He shook his head, letting out a small giggle. "But, when I was in high school, I took the time to write to each one of those friends, letting them know of her passing…"

Caitlin's smile grew bigger when he finished talking, like he hadn't disappointed her.

"See? You get my point," she pointed out, satisfied.

"You're not that hard to figure out," Barry said. "It's one of the things I like the most about you."

"Oh, stop…"

"It's true."

Barry tilted his head, feeling his eyes grow heavier as he watched Caitlin biting her lip nervously. He had recently noticed that she didn't only do that when something was bothering her, but also when she was alone with him. Making a little experiment, he kept his eyes on her to see how long she could stand it.

Almost two seconds later, she looked down to escape his eyes, chuckling.

"What?" she inquired.

"You're so beautiful," Barry said, lowering his voice to a whisper. It had taken him an extra amount of courage to say that, and it paid off when her eyes shined gratefully. "You remind me of my mom a lot…"

"Oh, that can't be good…"

"No, no." Barry burst out laughing when Caitlin covered her face with her hands in embarrassment. "Not in a creepy kinda way… it's just…"

Barry brought his chair even closer to hers, until their knees touched, and reached out to hold her hands.

"I'm The Flash," he stated, in a self-mocking tone. "I'm supposed to protect people… but, like someone told me long ago, I can always use a little saving." He cracked a smile at how smug she looked after recognizing her own quote. "Protection, safety… I crave those things. That's my secret… and you've given me that. You're just as caring, gentle and thoughtful as her. Thank you… for the vitamins and everything else."

"It's… my job," Caitlin reminded him, modestly.

"Hey, what happened to 'I give you handwritten notes to show that I care'?" Barry poked her in the side, making her jump from the tickles. "You don't get to take that back. You care about me, you care about me, you care about me…" he repeated, giving her a poke with each sentence.

"I thought that was kind of implicit! Barry, stop!" After a lot of giggling and writhing, she managed to slap his hands away. "I was just saying that you give me too much credit."

"Not enough."

Barry watched Caitlin as she observed him tenderly, her dilated pupils going from one side to another, and his breath hitched. Again, something had started. Something that neither of them was willing to continue.

It had always been like this, like they had a huge gap between them. A gap that grew thicker every time they were about to act on their obvious chemistry, indecision always taking over.

Like he had done many times before, Barry started evaluating whether to take the leap or not. Should he kiss her? Should he lean his face closer and let her meet him halfway? Should he ask for her permission?

Against anything he could've planned, Caitlin leaned forward and crashed her forehead against his.

"Don't go," she begged, caressing his cheek with the tip of her nose. "Stay here with me."

"I'll be back before you know it," Barry assured. Her gesture came so natural that the only thing that exposed his nervousness was a content sigh. He gave her a slow smile when her eyes found his again. They were so close that their noses touched. "I promise."

"I wish I could go with you."

"And I wish this hadn't come up when I was planning to ask you out…"

Caitlin leaned back, shocked.

"Ask me out?" she echoed. "When were you planning to ask me out?"

"This evening," he answered, barely believing he had been so bold. His face was hot and his heart was pounding painfully in his chest. "After I came back from saving the bridge."

Barry was already terrified to hear Caitlin's reaction to that, despite her recent displays of affection. He thought that another case of unrequited feelings could be the worst that could happen until he saw, with horror, tears pooling in her eyes.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he squeaked out, cupping her face in his hands and bringing her eyes closer to his. "Cait?"

"Just come back, okay?" she sobbed, a little too loud for that stage of the conversation. "Come back."

"I-I-I will." Barry stroked her cheeks and removed a few locks of hair that had fallen to her face. "There's no reason to cry. Do you want us to do that when I get back? I didn't ask earlier because this is gonna take long and I didn't wanna leave you hanging…"

But those words didn't seem to be enough for Caitlin, whose face became red from crying silently. Barry got off his chair, unsettled by her behavior, and searched the desk for a bottle of water or a bag of tea. Frustrated, he kneeled down in front of her.

"Cait, I really have to go now," he told her, with obvious pain in his voice.

"Come back," she cried out.

"Yes, I will."

"Come back…"

"Yeah, I…"

Barry interrupted himself when he realized that Caitlin seemed to be staring at a spot behind him. He looked over his shoulder, but there was nothing there that could've distracted her, and no one she could be talking to.

"Caitlin?" Barry tried, one more time.

Spooked, he lifted his hand and waved it in front of her eyes, but there was no reaction. It was like she didn't realize that he was still there.

Or she was just ignoring him.

"Find Cisco, okay?" he suggested, heartbroken. "You shouldn't be alone… and I can't stay any longer."

As much as Barry hated leaving things like that, he was running out of time. He stood up and started walking towards the exit, trying to fight an immense guilt. It wasn't that bad, he told himself. He could check on her anytime he wanted.

Because he had superspeed.

Why were they being so dramatic about his absence, then?

Barry whirled around to look at Caitlin one more time. She had bent over, covering her face with her hands, weeping.

He felt the need to punch himself. What the hell was he doing? Caitlin wasn't the emotional outburst type, something was seriously wrong. He _couldn't_ leave her like that. Anything else could wait.

It was when he started considering the possibilities of delaying his duties that an important question finally popped up.

 _Where was he even going?_

Barry stopped in his tracks, realizing he wasn't even walking towards the cortex door. Instead, his feet were leading him to the space where his Flash suit was supposed to be.

Except that there was no Flash suit, but a door-sized bookcase. Astonished and momentarily forgetting more urgent questions, Barry reached out to grab a snow globe that was resting on the upper shelf. It had a little Big Ben inside.

"This is my mom's," Barry exclaimed, startled. He turned to Caitlin. "I have this in my lab, what is it doing here?"

Caitlin had straightened up in her chair, holding her ribs with her arms, like she was afraid to break into a million pieces.

"Caitlin," he prompted. As much as he wanted to get back and comfort her, something seemed to keep him glued to his current spot. "Where's everyone?"

Distressed, Barry tried to walk back with no result. His body felt weightless, like there was no pull of gravity under his feet. He then looked at the bookcase again, and saw something new had appeared in front of the books.

A new book, with a cartoon dinosaur on the cover.

 _The Runaway Dinosaur._

"Where did this come from?!" he asked Caitlin, insistently pointing at the bookcase. The weirdness of the situation was already testing his patience. "Caitlin, this book wasn't here… neither was this thing… Please, what the hell is happening?"

No answer.

"The trip I'm taking… where am I going… where I'm going?" he asked himself again, looking at the floor, in a useless attempt to remember.

A loud, hollow sound made Barry jump back so high that he almost fell to the floor. The bookcase had slid to the side, revealing some sort of dark passage.

"You got to be kidding me…" he muttered, trying to look inside.

Before he could even try to take a step, someone was already on their way out.

Barry's breath caught in his throat.

"Mom?" he gulped.

Nora Allen, wearing the last outfit he had seen her in, smiled at him lovingly. His panic was immediately replaced with relief. Not only because any possibility of seeing his mom alive was always welcome, but also because her presence meant that none of that was real. And thank God that she had appeared before things got weirder.

"My beautiful boy," she greeted him.

"Mom, where am I?" he asked, sounding way less demanding than before. "The speedforce again?"

"No, this is a less peaceful place… it's your head."

"My head?"

"Your body might have given out, but your mind isn't at ease. That's why she is here."

She pointed at Caitlin, who was smiling from the actual cortex door.

"What do you mean my body gave…?" Barry intended to ask.

Suddenly, a strong pressure in his chest made him cough uncontrollably. Barry grabbed his ribs helplessly, trying to keep them in place, because every shake from his cough caused him an excruciating pain. He had been smashed by giant gorillas, but this felt like a dinosaur had casually stepped on him.

Then he remembered. God, now he remembered.

That evening, when he thought he had saved all the people on the bridge, a huge piece of concrete had fallen over an isolated car, with a whole family still inside. Luckily, the impact hadn't been enough to squash the car flat, and he managed to phase each one of its passengers through the concrete and free them, breaking his foot in the process. The pain was so unbearable that he hadn't been able to phase that part of his body on his way out and, before he was able to escape, another piece of the bridge collapsed over him.

Barry unbuttoned his shirt and looked down at his torso, all bruised and bloody.

"Oh, my God," he breathed out, in shock. "I was… I wanted to ask you out…" Barry told Caitlin. Judging by her tormented face, she could see him and hear him again. "I was gonna do it once I was back from saving the bridge, but I didn't…"

Along with the darkness that came after the accident, he remembered distressed voices coming from his comms.

" _We seem to have lost connection," Caitlin's voice said. "Something is wrong, we need to breach there."_

" _On it," Cisco's voice answered._

Quicker and clearer images replaced the pitch-black surroundings: the ceiling of STAR Labs scrolling up, three blurred faces looking at him from above, the beeping from the heart monitor going faster and faster…

" _Do we even know how's he still alive?" Harry asked, in a shaky voice._

" _Somehow," Caitlin answered, impatient. "He's not breathing. Dammit, I can't do CPR without stabbing his lungs!"_

 _A single, steady beep started sounding._

" _Oh, no, no…" Caitlin let out, in panic. "Paddles!"_

" _Here!" Cisco exclaimed, his sneakers squeaking on the floor._

" _Come on, Barry! CLEAR!"_

Barry shuddered from the imaginary electric shock.

" _No… please…" Caitlin whispered to herself. "Come back! Clear!"_

 _From the other side of the table he was laying on, Barry could hear someone pacing back and forth._

" _Snow…" Harry called her, with that careful tone he only reserved for her and his daughter._

" _Clear!" Caitlin repeated, her voice already hoarse._

" _Snow, stop… he's gone."_

" _CLEAR! Come back…"_

Barry grabbed his head desperately, realization cutting through him like a knife.

"Come back," he quoted, tears invading his own eyes as he looked at the Caitlin in that imaginary cortex. She seemed to be holding back. "I didn't come back…"

Barry walked around like a mad man, biting his nails and preventing his mind from clinging to the worst-case scenario.

"This isn't real. None of this was real," he mumbled, standing in the middle of the room to look at both women at the same time. "Am I dead?"

"Clinically," Caitlin answered, finally. "You're flatlined."

"Where is Caitlin? The real one, what is she doing?"

"Her best."

Barry used the back of his hands to wipe away his tears. He had faced death many times, under the thought that, whatever happened to him, it'd be quick. Being so conscious and witnessing his best friends' concern was the scariest thing that had ever happened to him.

"It's up to you now," Nora intervened. "I sensed that you were in your way to see me."

"Was I?" he sobbed, trying to recover from what he had just discovered and make more sense of it. "That's where I was heading?"

"Yes."

"Why didn't I go straight there? Why am I here?"

"Because now you have a conscience." The woman smiled. "Running to me has always been your first instinct, but you're not a baby anymore. And there's more than me now."

Barry shook his head in frustration. He was at crossroads. Not because he was considering dying, but because he wanted to believe his eyes (or brain). If he chose to think of this last conversation with his mom as a genuine memory, he would also have to remember he had left her behind.

It was almost like letting her die again.

"There was a time when all I wanted was reuniting with you and dad," Barry started, swallowing to fight down his emotion. "But it's true, there's a lot I can't leave behind. Central City needs me, Joe needs me, my friends need me… and I… I have to tell Caitlin…"

He looked to his side. Caitlin was gone.

"Good, because I came here to stop you," Nora confessed, with a little wink. "Go to her. You can still catch her."

Barry grinned, despite feeling a knot in his stomach. One of the perks of being in his own head was seeing his mom just like he remembered her.

"I wish you had met her," he lamented.

"I just did."

"Goodbye, mom."

He reached out to give her a hug, but Nora and the bookcase had disappeared in a blink of an eye. The mannequin with The Flash suit was back in its place.

Barry didn't even have to question how to get out of there. He just had to use the door Caitlin had crossed, and 'go to her'.

He exited the cortex and found the hallway turned into a spiral. He started descending by instinct, hearing, again, the sound of familiar voices. The more he descended, the louder they became.

" _Snow, you have to announce time of death," Harry prompted, firmly._

" _No," Caitlin said. Barry could hear her heels coming and going. "Not yet."_

" _What are you doing with that syringe?" Cisco asked her, in between sobs. "Caitlin, please."_

" _Let go of me, Cisco."_

" _It's been five minutes."_

" _I don't care. This should be enough to get some vitals and stabilize him."_

" _There are no vitals. He's dead. And I know what you must be feeling, but you can't blame yourself for this…"_

" _Yes, I can! I can because, from the minute we put someone on that table, whatever goes wrong is on me!"_

" _No, it's not. He didn't die from you, it was an accident!"_

" _Cisco, let go of me or God help me out…"_

"Oh no," Barry breathed out, trying to rush through that infinite hallway, only to realize he didn't have his speed.

" _His healing… his healing should've repaired some of the damage. His cells must be working!" Caitlin continued, sounding terribly uncertain. "I won't give up on him. He's still in there, I can feel it."_

"Yes, I am!" He tried to announce, his voice echoing in the ceiling. "In a Patrick Swayze kinda way, but I am!"

" _What if you're wrong?"_

"Cisco, has she ever been wrong before?!" Barry panted, almost tripping over his own feet.

Barry had expected to find the exit doors once he finished his descend. Instead, he had reached the Particle Accelerator. The round door was opening, and a blinding light was coming from the inside. He stopped and covered his face with his arms, waiting for that merciless heat to melt his bones.

* * *

After what seemed like a decade, Barry found himself laying on a horizontal position, darkness surrounding him again. The steady beeping he had been hearing stopped and a shorter one followed.

His friends' whispers ceased, and silence fell over the room. The pain from his wounds hit him with full force. Even announcing himself seemed like a terrible effort, but a small hand closing around his encouraged him.

"Barry?" Caitlin tried, eagerly. "Can you hear me?"

"If… if you inject me with that," he gruffed against the oxygen mask he had on. He had heard one of the guys saying that the syringe Caitlin was holding contained adrenaline. "I won't stop vibrating until I reach the center of the Earth."

"Oh my God!"

Barry realized that he had a black eye when he could only manage to open the left one. Caitlin, with her face flushed from crying, carefully leaned over him, pressed her hand against his cheek and caressed the other with her own, probably scared of hurting him with a proper hug. Cisco and Harry were behind her, with their mouths wide open.

"It's a miracle," Harry commented, putting a hand over Cisco's shoulder, who was now both smiling and crying.

"I thought we had lost you," Caitlin sobbed, removing his cowl from behind his head so he was more comfortable.

"Didn't seem like you believed it," Barry told her, lifting his hand to caress the back of her head and looking down at his body. His Flash suit was torn open in the middle and the skin of his torso was three shades of black and purple. "I heard you trying to bring me back…"

Caitlin straightened up and glanced over her shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, guys," she told Harry and Cisco, embarrassed. "I don't know what came over me…"

"Forget about it," Cisco appeased her, sitting next to Barry's bedside and wiping his own tears. He seemed pretty pumped. "This guy needs to stop scaring us."

He patted Barry on the shoulder, while Harry remained a few meters away. Barry didn't need him to say anything to know he had been worried too, because he waited until he seemed fine to comfortably lean against the door and cross his arms.

"How did you guys pull me out of the rubble?" Barry asked, his voice a little lower from the efforts.

"The Mech," Cisco answered, proudly.

"The Mech? I thought that didn't work."

"It doesn't always respond to my orders, but I had to take the risk… or Caitlin would've piloted it herself. Yeah, it was her idea." Barry's eyes moved to her in awe. "I couldn't let that happen, I mean, we only have one doctor… It was quick, I vibed you and lifted the debris with it."

"Thanks, man."

While they were talking, Caitlin had managed to carefully remove the top piece of Barry's suit.

"I don't know if there's at least one rib that isn't broken…" Caitlin informed him, noticing him trying to crane his neck to examine his own body. "It's a miracle that you can even breathe. I still need to give you a sedative and patch you up …"

"No, please no sedatives," Barry joked, to hide his discomfort. "I like being awake. Please…" He pointed at the oxygen mask. "Take this off."

"I can't. It's helping you breathe…"

"I'm fine. Please."

He wasn't, he really wasn't, but nothing would make him more anxious than waiting to get better to start doing stuff. He had never been _so close_ to dying before and, certainly, he had never been so close to dying from something so unexpected like a bridge collapse.

Caitlin puckered her lips in protest and removed the oxygen mask reluctantly.

"Come here," he asked her. She leaned over him, keeping the mask just one inch away from his face. "Closer." And closer she got. "Closer…"

"Barry…" she let out, impatiently.

Taking advantage of her little distraction, he pulled her head to him and kissed her sweetly on the mouth.

They stayed like that for a few seconds, her lips gently brushing against his, until the beeping from monitor picked up on his now increased heart rate. Caitlin pulled away abruptly and put the mask back on his face, causing Barry to giggle.

"Now, if I go into shock or something, at least I got to do that," he said, weakly.

"Don't you dare," she warned him, her curved eyebrows and lips betraying her in her attempts to look serious.

"Guys, gross," Cisco said, without looking surprised. "My stomach is still weak from the scare… Hey, Harry, why don't we give these two some time alone…?" It wasn't until he left Barry's bedside that he realized that Harry wasn't at the door anymore. "And you already did, okay."

Before walking out, Cisco tapped under his eyes with his index fingers and then pointed at Barry with them, jokingly warning him about his new thing with Caitlin. He intended to give him two thumbs up, but a piercing pain indicated him that his left arm was injured too.

"How long will it take me to recover this time?" Barry asked Caitlin, noticing how worried she looked while walking around the medical table.

"I don't know. Maybe a day or two," Caitlin calculated, crouching down to examine his side. "God, I can see three fractured vertebras from here, I'll have to turn you over to patch you up. Then we'll wait a few hours to see if you're good to recover at home."

"Do I get a cute nurse to take me home?"

"Really?" Caitlin snorted, arching an eyebrow.

"I was talking about you."

"Oh…" She blushed and avoided his eyes for a few seconds, although he had not so discreetly enjoyed the little display of jealousy. "Sure. I can keep you company."

"Because we have a lot to talk about," he finished, giggling at her embarrassment. "It's a crappy first date, I know."

"Not to me."

Something fluttered in his stomach as he stared at her walking away to load a medical cart with all the things she needed. Probably the only good thing he was feeling in his body at the moment.

Caitlin pulled the cart to the medical table and started cleaning Barry's wounds.

"Cait?"

"Uhm?" She responded.

"You're beautiful," he let out, realizing he hadn't told her that in real life.

Caitlin beamed at him, momentarily looking away from the stitches she was preparing.

"How hard did you hit your head?" she teased him.

"I wish I had hit it harder," he teased back, effortlessly giving her another longing look.

Caitlin shook her head, again failing to deliver a proper disapproving look. Barry had expected to find his mind to be flooded with things to say now that they were quiet but, even if it was, they didn't seem necessary.

For now, he was content with watching one of his reasons to live work.


End file.
